Classic Mermaid Thermidor
The dish that ruined lobster for an entire generation of yacht-club members.
- Prep
- 1 hr
- Cook
- 2 hr
- Total
- 3 hr
- Serves
- 8 (one very long platter)
- Difficulty
- Legendary
- Cuisine
- Old-world Nautical
- Course
- Main
The story
I first made this Thermidor for a dinner party in 1987. Three guests fainted and one became a vegetarian. I took it as a compliment.
It is rich, it is golden, and it takes longer to make than most sea voyages. That is the point. Good things come to those who wait, and mermaids come to those who wait near rocks at dusk.
Ingredients
For the tail
- 1 mythical mermaid tail, sustainably imagined, scales kept for serving
- 2 tbsp butter
For the sauce
- 2 cups cream
- ½ cup brandy, for the sauce, and for the chef's nerves
- 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
- 2 egg yolks
To finish
- 1 cup grated Gruyère
- paprika, for that sunset-over-the-rocks look
Equipment
- Platter roughly the length of a rowboat
- Heavy saucepan
- Broiler
- Earplugs
Method
Before you begin
- Confirm your mermaid is fresh. She should still be singing.
- Insert earplugs and set your face to "neutral". She will try to make conversation.
Make the sauce
- Warm the cream in a heavy saucepan. Whisk in the mustard and yolks off the heat. ⏱ 10 min
- Add the brandy. Take a moment for yourself.
Cook the tail
- Simmer the tail meat gently in the sauce until the singing stops and the kitchen goes uncomfortably quiet. ⏱ 1 hr 30 min
- Spoon everything back into the scales, top with cheese and paprika, and broil until golden. ⏱ 8 min
Serve
- Present on a platter large enough to make your guests reconsider their life choices.
Substitutions
- No mermaid? Lobster works, but your guests will know.
- No brandy? Use the captain's rum. Do not tell the captain.
Storage and leftovers
Keeps 2 days in the fridge. Cover tightly, or it will hum quietly to the leftovers.
Nutrition (per serving, allegedly)
| Calories | legendary |
|---|---|
| Protein | mythical |
| Regret | 0 g (we checked) |
Tags: Classic Dinner Party Make Ahead